How does someone cope with an unimaginable tragedy?

Once More We Saw Stars is a memoir by a young father who lost his two-year-old daughter, Greta, suddenly and unexpectedly in a freak accident. Greta was sitting on a bench with her grandmother in their familiar New York neighborhood, enjoying an outing with her, when a window sill on the eighth floor of the building behind them suddenly collapsed, and the rubble fell on the street below, hitting Greta and her grandmother. While her grandmother sustained some injuries, a brick smashed right into Greta’s head, injuring her severely. She was taken to the hospital right away where she was put on life support, but she never recovered.

The unexpected death of a child is every parent’s worst nightmare, and while every person is unique and no two people deal with loss in exactly the same way, One More We Saw Stars isJayson’s account of the accident, its aftermath, and of how he and his wife, Stacy, attempted to cope. Actually, “coping” is the wrong word here—it was more of how they continued to live, given that they were still alive and had no choice but to carry on. Fortunately, their relationship was strong enough to withstand the devastating loss of their child, and although this memoir is written by Jayson, it is really the story of both their journeys through the abyss. They also had enormous love and support from their families and friends, which seems to have prevented them from completely succumbing to the despair they felt. While neither of them was religious in the conventional sense of the word and did not have the support of faith to comfort them, they did go through some therapy and grief support groups, and also tried yoga and meditation. Eventually, they decided to try to have another baby, and the book ends shortly after the birth of their baby boy. By this time, they have made peace with Greta’s loss, although they are always aware of her presence, her spirit.

This memoir will resonate with anyone who has ever lost a loved one, especially someone from their immediate family whom they see every day and almost take for granted. It is so raw and honest, and you can relate to the anger Jayson feels towards the world at large in the immediate aftermath of his daughter’s death—such as anger at other families for still being intact, and anger at older people for getting to live for so many years when his own daughter did not even live to be three. Of course, he knows that this is totally unreasonable, but he freely admits to having such thoughts. For anyone who has not gone through the loss he has, it would be impossible to relate to feeling this kind of anger and resentment towards complete strangers.

While tragedy of the kind that struck Jayson and Stacy is not unheard of, most people who go through something like this would not be able to write about it, let alone so beautifully and powerfully. Jayson Greene works in writing and publishing, so writing this memoir might have been somewhat therapeutic for him. I hope it helped, given that he has provided us with such a searingly honest account of what losing a loved one feels like.

One More We Saw Stars
Author: Jayson Greene
Publisher: Knopf          
Publication Date: May 2019                                             

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Contributor: Lachmi Khemlani runs a technology publication in the San Francisco Bay Area.